Wednesday 19 September 2018

Walking A Mile In My Shoes

Walk A Mile In My Shoes

I saw a meme recently that said “ Never mind ‘walkin a mile in my shoes’...Try spending a day in my head.”.  It made me think how would I describe what it’s like in mine with a traumatic brain injury.

Let’s see, you would wake up early around 5:30 to 6:00 AM every day.
You don’t connect with time like you used to, so your first thoughts are to try to figure out if today is a work day or a stay at home day.
Shortly you become aware of the ringing in your ears, one of the new symptoms you are still trying to get used to.
Your brain injury brings new symptoms as time goes by and nerves fail and deteriorate.
The pain in your hands and feet is a throbbing tingling sensation this morning , another new symptom that is annoying right now, which is better then the pain from last night.
When you get out of bed to start your day you find your balance is a little unstable, easily corrected with the support of the bed and the wall.
You brush your teeth with the lights out because it’s easier on your light sensitive eyes.
Brushing your teeth can be a challenge, sometimes you have trouble figuring out what items you need to accomplish this simple task.
Often you have trouble with your balance in the shower.  Getting rescued from the shower because you fall is probably not on your bucket list.
Putting on your deodorant can be a challenge too, you may find yourself standing at the bathroom counter knowing there is something you should be doing next, but you can not find the memory anywhere.


Memory loss is a symptom you will have to deal with daily.  Short term is the worst, most every thing from the last three years is gone.  Anything you experienced recently won’t stay unless you find a way to repeat it some how.  Anything you do retain, will feel like a distant disconnected memory.
When you try to recall memories from the distant past, it brings on headaches.
There is a tingling sensation inside your head, it’s almost like you can feel every connection in your brain activating.
You’ll try to avoid bright light and loud noises because they both make you uncomfortable.
Your vision is one of your oldest symptoms.  You’ve lost some of your right peripheral vision and everything is generally blurred.  As the day progresses, a tension headache will start from your temples, then across your eye brows and forehead.
Fatigue will start to hit by 10:30-11:00 AM.  You’ll need a nap by early evening or maybe some time in a low light room to rest your eyes and head.
Your migraines are finally under control, now that you are on the right medication, as long as you remember to take it.
You’re going to experience a disconnection from your surroundings.  It’s a feeling like you are watching what is going on around you but you are not really taking part in it.
Confusion and distraction come over you, you can’t understand why simple tasks are so challenging.
Repetitive tasks set well and allow you to be productive.
New tasks challenge you, strain your thought processes and generate headaches.
You spend a lot of time in your own head but find that you don’t really spend much time thinking about anything.
You’re ready for bed by 10:00 PM but you know you won’t sleep more then five hours so you have to stay up till midnight or 1:00 AM.
You realize you’ve made it to the end of another day.

19 comments:

  1. This was enlightening to read. I’m so sorry that you’re having to go through this. God bless and I pray that you will recover soon or find peace. Love, Baleigh (baleighsbetterlife.com)

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  2. Your story slightly reminds me of my aunt (in law). A long time ago, she lost her short term memory. She keeps a book to record all of her truths. Unfortunately, some of those 'truths' are written incorrectly but are now a part of her story. She cannot even remember what she had for lunch or meeting new people. Everyone is trapped in the 1980's and earlier. I think what you are doing with blogging is so admirable and honestly, pretty special. Keep it up, and thank you for sharing something so personal. Love, Christine of The Uncorked Librarian

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    1. The memory is a funny beast. Some years ago I went back to visit a small town I lived in as a kid. Nothing was where I remembered it to be. Once I was there it sort of pieced together. Thank you for sharing.

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  3. Thanks for sharing. I am sorry you have to go through this.. you are an inspiration to me.
    Love
    Sam

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    1. I had amenisia too last year. I have been through it. But I didn't have anyone by my side. Stay Blessed.

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  4. You are such an inspiration! It was lovely and thought provoking to read this! God bless you

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  5. This is fascinating insight. I had no idea what life was like with a brain injury. It sounds exhausting.

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  6. You are right we never know what the next person is going through. You are a very inspirational person, stay strong!

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  7. This just goes to show you never know what somebody is going through and not to judge based on what you see on the surface. What you go through daily is an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  8. Sorry to hear about the challenges you have due to your brain injury. Hopeufully you continue to keep a positive attitude.

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  9. Thank you for letting us in on your head, and what's it like to be you. I can see how strong you are, dealing with all of these. Continue to be strong.

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  10. Thank you for sharing your inspiring story! Stay strong!

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  11. You are leading a tough life and I hope and pray that you get better soon. It is truly tough to be in your shoes and in your head, too

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  12. So sorry that you have to go through this. I hope you stay strong.

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  13. I am sorry you have to go through this. Thank you for sharing your inspiring story! Stay strong!

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  14. Sorry that you're going through all of this! I know it might not seem like it, but things will start to look up!

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  15. sorry to hear all of this! :( this was a really interesting read and something I would never have thought about. stay strong lovely

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  16. I am so sorry to hear of all the hardships that you have endured recently. This is such an inspiring story, I hope things get better for you soon. Thanks for sharing!

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